I will start by acknowledging how upsetting, stressful and confusing that this behaviour can be for all involved (kaiako, whanau, tamariki) when these incidents take place before I venture into some of reasons they occur. There is a definite stigma around biting and why it occurs, but the reality is, that this is a very common and natural impulse that is far cry from a place of revenge or malice. While children are developing fundamental communication, language, and self-regulatory coping skills, they will often use physical gestures to get their message across. There are a multitude of different factors that can come into this. For example, changes occurring in children’s lives that leave a child feeling anxious, confused, and aware of a particular shift taking place that they cannot control or really understand (whanau separation, health and nutrition, developmental, environmental, sleep patterns, teething, another sibling on the way and what this means for them, the factors here are ongoing). Recognising that these behaviours are not calculated plans of aggression or revenge, or the often labelled “naughty” or “terrible two” behaviours, these are developmental natural impulses and responses to the child’s reptilian survival brain, and their developing limbic system. The reason I have touched briefly on the development cycles of the brain, is that figuring out developmentally appropriate expectations means you are better equipped to recognise, and to respond to them. Self-regulation, socially acceptable, and rational behaviour takes time to develop. It unfolds uniquely for each person, and although we are born with most, if not all, of the neural cells we will ever need, over time these connections are shaped by our interactions with the world. The main way to support desirable behaviours from tamariki, is to begin to try understanding those less desirable but natural behaviours. Only when there is some understanding, can we better respond to the child’s needs with empathy, love, and guidance.
