Parenting

One of the most common questions teachers are asked of our new parents, families/whānau when children enrol at our centres is ‘how long will it take my child to settle in?’. The answer to that varies for every child, many children settle and respond to a new environment within a few weeks, however this looks different for all tamariki.

Some children, like my youngest child for example, take a few months to settle before they feel confident enough to say goodbye without getting upset during the leaving process.

Some children, like my oldest, wave and say goodbye on the first day without ever looking back and they continue to be like through their whole schooling experience.

Some children may take a few weeks to familiarise themselves with their environment, build relationships with kaiako and their peers, engage in routines and rituals, before they develop a sense of belonging and settle.

All of these examples of how tamariki settle are completely normal and I can tell you that eventually your child will settle with confidence. If we have concerns about this, we always engage in open communication with whānau to support and work with your child to review other strategies/alternatives.

I will start by acknowledging how upsetting, stressful and confusing that this behaviour can be for all involved (kaiako, whanau, tamariki) when these incidents take place before I venture into some of reasons they occur. There is a definite stigma around biting and why it occurs, but the reality is, that this is a very common and natural impulse that is far cry from a place of revenge or malice. While children are developing fundamental communication, language, and self-regulatory coping skills, they will often use physical gestures to get their message across. There are a multitude of different factors that can come into this. For example, changes occurring in children’s lives that leave a child feeling anxious, confused, and aware of a particular shift taking place that they cannot control or really understand (whanau separation, health and nutrition, developmental, environmental, sleep patterns, teething, another sibling on the way and what this means for them, the factors here are ongoing). Recognising that these behaviours are not calculated plans of aggression or revenge, or the often labelled “naughty” or “terrible two” behaviours, these are developmental natural impulses and responses to the child’s reptilian survival brain, and their developing limbic system. The reason I have touched briefly on the development cycles of the brain, is that figuring out developmentally appropriate expectations means you are better equipped to recognise, and to respond to them. Self-regulation, socially acceptable, and rational behaviour takes time to develop. It unfolds uniquely for each person, and although we are born with most, if not all, of the neural cells we will ever need, over time these connections are shaped by our interactions with the world. The main way to support desirable behaviours from tamariki, is to begin to try understanding those less desirable but natural behaviours. Only when there is some understanding, can we better respond to the child’s needs with empathy, love, and guidance.

We all want our children to succeed in life. Your idea of what success looks like might be a happy child, someone else might think success is a child that is learning to their full potential and someone else might think a successful child is one that is obedient and behaves by the rules. Whichever way, we need to ensure your child has a full kete in order for them to achieve success. This means we must meet their needs. Maslow’s ‘Hierarchy of Needs’ demonstrates 5 levels of different needs that adults and children’s lives are motivated by. The needs at the bottom of the pyramid are more important and must be met first in order to meet the needs at the top and for the person to meet their full potential and gain success.

Covid-19 has had a huge impact on the way we are currently living our day to day lives. Our ‘lack of control’ over the current situation and uncertainty about the future has caused many of us to experience some level of stress or anxiety. This is also a time when children can experience anxiety and uncertainty as their daily routines are turned upside down. Practicing Yoga and mindfulness with your children can be used as a helpful tool to support their physical, emotional and cognitive development in a fun, exciting and creative way.

We all want our children to succeed in life. Your idea of what success looks like might be a happy child, someone else might think success is a child that is learning to their full potential and someone else might think a successful child is one that is obedient and behaves by the rules. Whichever way, we need to ensure your child has a full kete in order for them to achieve success. This means we must meet their needs. Maslow’s ‘Hierarchy of Needs’ demonstrates 5 levels of different needs that adults and children’s lives are motivated by. The needs at the bottom of the pyramid are more important and must be met first in order to meet the needs at the top and for the person to meet their full potential and gain success.

Covid-19 has had a huge impact on the way we are currently living our day to day lives. Our ‘lack of control’ over the current situation and uncertainty about the future has caused many of us to experience some level of stress or anxiety. This is also a time when children can experience anxiety and uncertainty as their daily routines are turned upside down. Practicing Yoga and mindfulness with your children can be used as a helpful tool to support their physical, emotional and cognitive development in a fun, exciting and creative way.

When parents think of school readiness, subject skills such as the ability to write their name, count up to 20 or recite the alphabet are often the usual things that come to mind.

When I show new parents around our mixed-age early childhood centre I often see the same expression. It’s a look of slight concern or worry. Usually once they feel comfortable in our space they will ask the questions behind that expression.